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‘No’ is a complete sentence. (Anne Lamott). I love the simplicity, and essence of this message. This is a bold statement. And NO is a bold answer.
It permits you to not have to explain anything further when you say no to something. It doesn’t give room for the ‘why not’?
Purely in relation to business, however, I have some thoughts around how this could be more 'generous'.
I read an interesting review from Harvard Business School recently which piqued my interest in generosity in leadership.
What is one of the most generous gifts we can afford people? Our time to explain whys and why not. It helps both people on either side of the fence grow.
However, the article is rounded enough to suggest this generosity cannot be open-ended and completely selfless. Otherwise 'givers' will wear themselves and burn out, which in the end will help neither party.
Striking a balance between saying 'no' and giving more, needs to be considered.
It’s tempting when starting as an independent consultant to say ‘yes please’ to everything - and every opportunity.
I am however trying to apply some strict principles from the start.
So if it’s a no, then I’m going to say no thanks. I know someone better suited or I can help you assess what you might need, but it’s probably not me.
Saying ‘no’ doesn’t necessarily mean the end of the conversation. So for me, it’s not always a full stop.
Why?
Because with every conversation I’m enlightened a little further. I’ve learned more about myself and what I don’t want. As well as what I do. And that’s been incredible.
I know when I get working with more people, I’ll also be logging what works in a role and what doesn’t, and over time this will help me niche further.
By keeping an open mind, but a firm handle on my purpose and job role, I’m hopefully able to navigate the space and say ‘no thanks’ with confidence. And trust in the process, that saying ‘no’ to something that isn’t quite right, leaves an open space aligned with my principles and skill set.
Executive Coach, Dana Theus said to make YES mean more, you need to practice the art of saying NO.
And so it goes both ways. I need to respect when someone says ‘no thanks’ to me too. And that takes resilience.
If you are learning to express that, then you need to learn to hear it too.
From speaking to many people like me, in this profession, a thick skin is part of the skill set. But that doesn’t mean a cold heart. There’s a distinction. Being resilient, but compassionate in the art of saying ‘no’ (how it’s delivered), keeps things civil and respectful. And it’s bolder to say ‘no’ - than to say nothing at all.
I like the sentiment, that everyone is entitled to say ‘no’. And without explanation if that’s what they choose to do. That’s the free will of us all. And if we offer a 'why not' or give a little more of our time to aid growth, then we should caution our own energy levels in that equation.
