Remember, you always have a choice.

We have choices.

(This post talks about bullying and suicide.)

I've been mulling this post over for a couple of weeks now. I don't talk about these things lightly.

Having 'choice' is a privilege. I realise that. And so I don't want to presume to understand everyone's lives when I'm discussing this. What I do know is that 'feeling' of the weight of all your financial commitments or family relying upon you that you feel you can't change your career or your job. And that feeling can be utterly debilitating. Especially if you're not in a good place enjoying work.

But you do need to make changes to protect your health, and ensure you are on aligning with your values. This is a great start, because once you do, things start to align for the better. I made the choice for a different career route. It's a financial risk, each month is different, it won't be for everyone, and it might not be forever, but it did take me far too long to give it a go! I repeatedly didn't recognise when a work situation wasn't suiting me.

Why do I feel compelled to share this?

When we are deep in the mire of workplace stress we feel like we don't have the same choices. This was triggered recently when I read about two highly successful professional women (separate stories) on LinkedIn, within weeks of each other, taking their own lives.

I don't know their tragic stories well enough to understand whether I'm reductively calling out the main reason as bullying, but the posts written by others close to these people, cited this as being the founding or compounding reason.

If bullying is going on, and was a fundamental reason, catalyst or contributory factor, I thought to myself, did they feel they had no choice? I speak from experience when I say I've been there. I've been clouded and confused and not comprehended until the bullying has been too far set to not be affected by it. But I did find a way to get out. I've had a strong sense that I'll always be ok and you won't break me.

So I can't begin to comprehend the mindset of these two women, but I do know that when you're in a good place and have clarity of mind, you know you always have a choice.

I think it's heartbreaking that through workplace stress and staying in a role leads to the unthinkable. We must do more to support people to realising they have a choice.

I'm so saddened to see that this bullying continues to be rife in British businesses. It's not only present but it's not brandished as unacceptable. People talk the talk but don't always authentically walk the walk.

I'm not sure what needs to happen to jolt workplaces (and the people running the show) into taking this seriously. If someone comes to you and complains about bullying it's your duty to investigate it.

If you're reading this and feel you're in that situation please know you always have a choice. You might not change them. But you can leave toxic workplaces and jobs to save your mental health and your life. ❤️